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Posts Tagged ‘Make Up’

You guys. I have no excuse for this. I was at Forever21 to stock up on basics (I bought like 5 t-shirts for $3.50 each – SCORE!) and to maybe find a brown belt (but all the S/P belts were way too big for me – even if I tried them on over a sweater AND my coat, the last hole was still too loose, which I admit was nice in one way because I like my tiny waist, but at that time was just nothing but frustrating) but everything was frustrating and I got upset. Which is what also happens to me when I shop.

Anyway, so I was going to leave but I saw a bin of nail polishes for like $2.80. One was a bright, happy, canary yellow. Why not, right?

So I grabbed it and bought it along with my tees, and I just tried it on.

OH MY GOD IT IS TURRIBLE.

I consider myself your run of the mill nail polish consumer. I don’t own shoeboxes upon shoeboxes of it like some of my makeup savvy friends. But I own more than 1 or 2 shades.

I buy high end and low-end, and generally go for colors and formulas that work well. I don’t care about gimmicks like high shine or quick dry – if I really want a high shine I will use a top coat, and if I’m painting my nails it’s safe to say I’ve made an experience of it and am doing it at a time when I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything else.

I love OPIs, and while I keep up with their collections, I never run out and snag bottles from the new one as soon as it comes out. I don’t find nail polish THAT exciting. I also buy drugstore brands, my favorite being Sally Hanson. It’s cheap enough, and there are TONS of different shades, and it’s always worked great.

Formula wise, I like thicker nail polishes. If I’m using a colored polish, as opposed to a more nude/sheer one that’s supposed to just enhance the color of my nails rather than change their color completely and noticeably, then I want a formula that is thick. I want two coats to completely cover any distinction between the white and pink parts of my nails.

(I’m not good with technical terms when it comes to fingernails – sorry. I know a lot of you won’t be able to take me seriously ever again after this, and I don’t blame you.)

😐

Anyway, I want a thick formula that does what it’s supposed to do in two coats. Two coats are perfect. Sometimes I’ll use three. I KNOW THIS IS ALL WILDLY FASCINATING AND LIFE CHANGING.

😐

You guys. Everything I do is life-changing. Please.

But Forever21’s nail polish formula (and I’m presuming it’s the same across the board – I highly doubt that fire engine red is somehow thicker than canary yellow, while jade green is even more watery) does not pass muster. It was way, way too watery.

One coat barely did anything. I had to apply about 4 coats (maybe 5? I lost count) for the two colors of my fingernails not to be distinguishable underneath. And, of course, when you put on that many coats, it sits way too thick on the nail, but any less and it would look like you barely had the presence of mind to put on a single coat, even though you actually already put on 3 at that point.

And, when it sits too thick on the nail, no matter how long you let it dry without doing anything that even remotely dings your nails, the slightest touch will put a dent in the polish. That’s just what happens. It’s SCIENCE.

😛

But yeah, I’ll try to be serious. Don’t waste your money on this polish. Find a better, thicker formula. I wonder if Sally Hansen has a canary yellow shade. I really want that color – it’s the it color this season, although that’s not why I want to try it. It’s just that yellow has always looked fabulous with my skintone.

Another color that looks fabulous with my skin? Bright pink, oddly enough. I streaked my damn-near-black-but-actually-darkest-brown hair pink around Halloween for my Nicki Minaj costume and I looked AWESOME.

I was very vigilant about there being no photos to document my first foray into another hair color, so, sorry.

You will never know how good pink hair looks on me.

😐

Doomed to ignorance. Oh, Bartleby! Oh, humanity!

😐

All my jokes are so lame and nerdy. I don’t know why you guys put up with me.

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Another little bargain I found today – if these things are cluttering up your inbox or your reader and you don’t like it, leave me feedback and I’ll figure something out, maybe consolidate the posts or something – that I thought I’d share.

I’m a big fan of Avon stuff. The makeup generally doesn’t irritate my skin, I love the brushes and the loofahs, and the bodywash smells incredible and leaves my skin super soft. Plus, they’ve always got great sales going on, and even when they don’t, the stuff is reasonably priced anyway, so it’s not a big deal.

Whenever I think of Avon, I think of the great Animaniacs parody of Tim Burton’s “Edward Scissorhands,” called “Skullhead Boneyhands.” 😀 Remember that? The little lady that finds Mr. Skullhead is an “Alon” representative and she brings him home from his creepy mansion and shenanigans ensue. If you haven’t seen it, I think you should. I can’t find it online, but seriously, just Netflix the Animaniacs. It’s only 3 seasons.

Avon’s got some great promotions going on right now. First up? The bodywash. Oh, man, the bodywash.

SkinnyJeans and I have discussed this bodywash and why it is fantastic. 😐 I suspect SJ was mocking me but WHATEVER. This bodywash *is* fantastic! There are a bazillion different scents that all smell amazing, and it makes my skin feel super soft.

Also, seriously, $2 a bottle.

So, yay.

Except someone at my house keeps stealing it. <_< … >_> All possible suspects have denied it, though. And I don’t have time to figure out who it is. Also, I keep forgetting that it’s being stolen in the first place.

But I have like 20 bottles of the stuff (that hang neatly on your shower faucet thing or towel rod or whatever!) so whatever. I can make do for a while.

Avon also has some other great products on sale at ridiculous mark-downs, so if you’re in need of some extra make up, stock up.

Clickety click.

There are a TON of lipsticks, along with a mineral mascara, some blush, some eyeliner, and a couple lip glosses. What would I go with? I’m staying away from eyeliner that’s not mineral due to my recent allergic reaction to either my eyeliner or my contact lenses which had some eyeliner crap on them (seriously, my upper lash rims swelled up like little caterpillars; thankfully I was basically the only one that noticed, so it must not have been too tragic-looking), so I’d probably go with the everlasting lipstick and everlasting lipgloss.

I like lipglosses and lipsticks. I usually have about 5-8 in my purse at any give time (3 if I’m carrying a teeny clutch) even though I rarely use them. They’re basically my security blanket. My grown up security blanket.

😐

I’m not weird.

…You’re weird.

😡

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Oscar Swag Bags, in my opinion, are completely effing ridiculous. But they’re also full of some really cool stuff. This year, for example, Natalie Portman, who won Best Actress for her performance in “Black Swan,” walked away with a giant African Safari vacation with a paid 5-star chef, a Motorola Xoom, and … this nail polish!

So if you ladies (and some gents) want to own the same nail polish that was given out to those that attended the Academy Awards (not sure, but I think these were actually in the bags for those that won or were nominated or were presenting, as opposed to seat-fillers), you can. Just click HERE for my post at Heave and check out this fabulous, chip-resistant polish. Or click the picture.

(This isn't the actual polish. I just thought this was really really cool.)

 

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Who Is Gis Bundchen Pissing Off Today? | Dlisted.

I do so love Michael K’s headlines.

Anyway, Giselle Bundchen was once again talking out of her supermodel butt, and this time, she wasn’t saying that another woman’s son was totally-really-omg-seriously her own child, and she wasn’t saying that she potty-trained her own child at six months, and she wasn’t even saying that all mothers should breastfeed their kids or be hung from the gallows.

No, this time, Giselle was saying that she doesn’t bother with sunscreen, because it is POISON Y’ALL.

Gisele claims she refuses to use the product because of all the chemicals they contain to absorb UVA and UVB light.

‘I cannot put this poison on my skin,’ the 30-year-old said. ‘I do not use anything synthetic.’

As a compromise, Bundchen claims she only exposes herself to the sun before 8am when it is still too weak to do any damage.

The Daily Mail

The National Cancer Institute of Brazil (Giselle’s native country) had this to say:

“Sunscreen prevents damage to the skin and is of fundamental importance for the prevention of cancer. This is not any poison, when a public person makes a statement like this, it creates confusion.”

Honestly, I was just waiting for her to say that the government puts things in sunscreen so it can control our minds, and to prevent this she smears herself with beet juice and wraps herself up in tinfoil when she goes to the beach.

Except for, you know, all the bikini shots.

I have no problem with celebrities offering beauty advice. The problem is that often times when they do so, they are (1) lying or (2) reckless about it.

I remember when Megan Fox said she guzzled vinegar whenever she felt fat because it took the weight right off. Yeah, except that’s medically not true. Maybe “guzzling vinegar” is code for “popping laxatives?”

And honestly, I’m skeptical about celebrities that want to share their beauty tips, anyway. They’re usually spouting off some random holistic treatment, and neglecting to say that a lot of it is make up or Photoshop.

In this case, it’s just irresponsible for Giselle to say that sunscreen is poison, when she has little to back that claim up. Sure, a lot of sunscreens contain paraben and oil and the like, and that might not work for sensitive skin and cause all sorts of problems.

I’ve had problems with a moisturizer before – Johnson & Johnson’s Purpose – which was supposedly hypoallergenic, and endorsed by a bunch of actors and actresses. It turned out to be absolute crap and gave me little white bumps on my face after just 1-2 uses. I freaked out and threw it away immediately.

You know what I didn’t do? Declare that all moisturizers were poison and tell people not to use them.

We need sunscreen, especially with the ozone deterioration that grows worse every year. If you’re worried about what you’re slathering on your skin, as you should be, read the labels on the sunscreen tubes you pick up. Look for products that use natural ingredients and no parabens and all that.

To make things easy, I have put together some recommendations.

$16

This is SPF 30 with FDA-certified organic ingredients. It’s got zinc oxide, olive oil, shea butter, no fragrances, preservatives or dyes, and is water resistant for about 40 minutes.

$18

This one offers a very high percentage of zinc oxide (about 25%), with ingredients like green tea, grape seed oi, macadamia oil, and natural Vitamin E.

$17

SPF 30, and made especially for babies and small children, since I know there are mommies that read this blog. It’s mineral-based and paraben free, which is always good. Another thing? It’s phthalates free. Phthalates are chemicals added to plastics that increase flexibility and durability, and there have been concerns about exposure.

$11

SPF 30, waterproof, PABA-free, with no petroleum chemicals or animal by-products, and it’s never been tested on animals, either.

These are just a few of the great, all natural and environmentally conscious sunscreens available on the market. There are special formulas for kids, for travel, for lips, for longer effectiveness in the water, and so on. Use sunscreen, but read the labels carefully and shop around if you’re concerned (as you probably should be) about what you’re putting on your face.

Just…don’t take any medical advice from Giselle Bundchen. At least not until she shows you some kind of medical degree.

ETA: And it looks like after I wrote this post but before I actually put it up, Giselle Bundchen’s publicist clarified her remarks on the sunscreen thing. PopEater has the scoop.

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Yeah, I’m a little late. The Golden Globes, aka, the Hollywood wank-fest, were on Sunday or something. My mother watches them occasionally, and my brother wanted to watch because he’s a HUGE Ricky Gervais fan (as we all should be because the man is awful in only the most delightful way possible). Personally, I hate them. This is partly why. There are far better articles about what a farce the GGs are, but that’s the best one I could find right now.

TIME CRUNCH, PEOPLE. Trial Advocacy starts in 10 minutes and I’ve got to get this written up before then. (To be posted later in the day.)

Cover of "The Bride of Frankenstein (Univ...

Cover via Amazon

Anyway, there’s always a Big Trend at these award shows. Sometimes it’s “the big, the bad, the ugly” hair. Like, the most hideous poufs you’ve ever seen. Bride of Frankenstein-style. Scarlett Johanson apparently didn’t get the memo this time, because that’s how her hair looked, but I thought she looked pretty otherwise.

Sometimes the Big Trend is nude lips – like, really pasty nude. Personally, I think that looks gross. If you’re going for the nude lip, it’s pretty hard to find the exact right shade of nude (that is, one or two shades lighter than your skin tone) that keeps you from looking washed out, or like a zombie. That was what was tres chic for a while, and I hated it. I’ve rocked the nude lip before (many times, almost daily if you take ‘nude lip’ to mean ‘no lipstick whatsoever’) but the difference is I actually know what shade (well, combination of shades, since my lips are a little tricky color-wise) to use.

This year, however, thankfully, the Big Trend was one of my favorites: the green dress. Observe.

Oh, Michael Douglas, you glorious, cancer-free, PhotoBombing bastard. Love it.

But, yeah, the Big Trend this year was definitely ‘bitches in green.’ Every HBIC was strolling the red carpet dressed in green. It was LOVELY. You guys know how wild I am about emerald-hued clothing, and I loved seeing some of my favorites dressed in this awesome, versatile, flattering color. It works with so many different skin tones, and as a darker girl, I love the way it looks on me, and it looks just as nice on one of my fairer skinned counterparts.

My favorites in green this year were Catherine Zeta Jones and Mila Kunis. Angelina Jolie also showed up in green, but I wasn’t wild about anything except the color of the dress. She always wears glittery, shapeless sacks, and she’s better than that. She dressed the best when she was pregnant with the twins, and she probably had a really keyed-in stylist for that time that she hasn’t really called since, because it’s obvious girlfriend has very little sense of style and she’s looked ‘eh’ since. Also I wanted her to do something better with her hair. She’s a gorgeous bird and could show it off a little better.

I did think this was kind of cute, though:

I can’t really explain why, but I did think it was cute.

Mila and CZJ were my favorites, though. I think CZJ’s gorgeous, high-drama dress probably looked better in person than it did on screen, but I thought it was lovely regardless. As for Mila, it’s impossible for that girl to look anything but awesome. I loved the bright hue of her dress and that it was one-shouldered. I would have liked for her to wear dangly earrings instead of the little ones she wore, but whatever. She’s practically perfect, and I’m not going to poke holes there.

Also, Michael Douglas just needs to start PhotoBombing EVERYONE from now on. C’mon.

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Do Eight-year-olds Needs Their Own Makeup Line? Wal-Mart Thinks So.

I’ve been seeing this pop up on my Twitter feed all morning and I guess the inundation wore me down, because I felt like addressing it. This is, after all, a kinda sorta but not really anymore law blog, with a decidedly (overpowering?) fashion bent, and I’ve actually been meaning to get a little more into make up here, in hopes that maybe I’ll actually learn something about make up – enough to actually wear some on at least a somewhat regular basis.

The lovely folks in my Twitter stream seem very upset about this. It’s being tagged with #feminist and #p2 and all that good stuff. They’re calling it ‘disgusting,’ and saying it sexualizes little girls and all that.

I’m not saying they’re wrong. Make up on a child is gross. And oversexualization of young girls is a problem. Anyone remember all those knock-kneed Lolita-esque photoshoots Britney Spears participated in when she was a mere 15 years old? Her managers understood too well that our culture loves, in the words of a character on FOX’s Family Guy, “hot white jailbait ass.” So yes, obviously, people are going to be really upset about Walmart putting out a new line of make up (with offensively stupid text-speak names, at that) that blatantly targets a very young age group.

I should also add that when 8 year olds worry about exfoliation, something has gone very, very wrong. I didn’t even know what the hell that was until I was, like, 17, and even then I knew that, thanks in part to good genes, I didn’t quite have to worry about it then. I do now, though, just in case anyone things I’m being braggy or vain. (St. Ives apricot scrub and Burt’s Bees citrus scrub! What, what!)

But in general, it’s hard for me to get upset about this. I’m trying, you guys. I’m really trying. I have my torch, gasoline-soaked rag, and Zippo lighter all ready to go and everything. But I’m just not feeling it.

Yes, the sexualization of children is horrible. It’s a social disease. I’m with you there. Particularly after all the recent FBI stings that have freed many women and children from the illegal sex trade. Yes, eight year olds don’t need to worry about fine lines and exfoliation and mascara.

But getting all up in a lather about this just seems like a waste. Don’t like make up products marketed toward children? Don’t buy them. Ask your spouse or anyone else your kid might go shopping with that’s not you (her BFF’s mom, an aunt, the nanny, whatever) not to buy them for her. If she gets them as a gift, put them away until she’s older. Whatever. Is it that hard?

If anything, seeing these items up on the shelf at your local Walmart can be a great teaching moment. Have a brief conversation with your kid about why children that young don’t need to wear make up. Say it’s weird or lame. Whatever put-downs the young people are using these days. And then move on.

I’ve seen people put up a stink at various stores because certain items up for sale weren’t suitable for children. Guess what? The world’s not suitable for children.

I’m not advocating putting nudie mags next to the gum and those pens with the colors in the tube that whirl around when you write. I mean, really, who can resist those? They’re just so fancy.

But creating a scene like that? Calling the manager out? Demanding that the offending item be removed? (When it wasn’t even really that offending?) It just makes everyone involved look foolish.

We’re all prudes here. I get that. I’m actually a huge prude. In certain ways. And not so much in others. (According to my mother, I am nowhere near prudish enough. AND THIS IS TERRIBLE YOU GUYS OMG DEPRAVITY YOU JUST WATCHED A MOVIE TRAILER THAT HAD THE WORD SEX IN IT FOUR TIMES THE WORLD IS DOOMED IF IT MUST RELY ON YOUR SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE. Sigh.) Certainly, there’s a good enough reason to keep adult movies in a room in the back of the video store, and nudie mags under the counter or in those paper covers.

But things like make up for eight year olds? The new Maxim cover? A rack of lacy boy shorts located too close to the little girls’ undie section? (Yeah, that was the scene I was referring to earlier.) Let it go, America. It’s not that important. Use it as a moment to talk to your kids instead of yelling at some poor manager and making all bystanders very uncomfortable.

Because one day you’re going to be looking for a copy of GQ with Zooey Deschanel in a mini-dress, or a new Julia Quinn romance novel, or a pair of ballroom dancing shoes for your kid who has to be in a wedding and know how to dance, and you’re going to have some trouble because Zooey Deschanel’s mini-dress is just way too short for innocent little eyes, and the dude on the romance novel cover is shirtless and wearing some very low-slung britches, and heels for children are too sexy and just totally immoral. And then you’ll be straight out of luck.

It’s just like people clamoring for the government to restrict this type of speech and outlaw Quran-burnings and get rid of that civil liberty or this procedural safeguard – it’s all fine, until it gets in YOUR way. Then it’s unreasonable and total overreach and OMG PITCHFORKS AT DAWN.

Rant over.

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