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Archive for January, 2011

Happy Monday, everyone! Here’s to the work week. Now that you’ve had your coffee as well as ample time to stare blankly at your computer screen like a zombie suffering from severe allergies, allow me to break up the monotony with another Modern Muslimah post.

Today’s hadith is a tiny but powerful one. It comes to us from the Hadith Qudsi, which are basically 40 hadith that are very well authenticated and are the words of the Prophet Muhammad (S) himself, narrated by the Sahabah (R). You’ll remember from last week that ‘sahabah’ is the Arabic word for companions, meaning friends, as opposed to any other sort of companionship.

The hadith is as follows:

Allah says: Take one step toward me, and I will take ten steps toward you. Walk toward me, and I will run toward you.

Short and sweet, and very powerful. Another Hadith Qudsi that goes along with this is the one narrated by Abu Hurairah (R). His name is actually a nickname given to him by the Prophet (S), and it means “the father of the kitten,” because the Prophet (S) saw him sitting in the street one day and playing with a tiny stray kitten that he just found, and nicknamed him that as a sign of affection. Anyway, the hadith is:

When God decreed the Creation, He pledged Himself by writing in His book (the Quran), which is laid down with Him: My mercy prevails over My wrath.

The meaning of these two hadith revolves around God’s mercy. It amazes me that God (in the Quran) is constantly maligned as being wrathful and vengeful, when God (in the Old Testament) is hardly a teddy bear. And honestly, the people that describe God (in the Quran) as being an angry and vengeful God are the ones that haven’t yet finished reading the paragraph, because the Quran goes to great lengths to describe God’s mercy.

The first hadith is the one I’m focusing on today, and the metaphor is that of converging paths. If a person takes one step toward God, God takes ten toward him, and if he walks toward God, God runs toward him.

Lace up.

The idea here, to me, at least, is encouragement. This hadith encourages Muslims to try to be better Muslims and learn more about their faith, with the imagery of God embracing the believer that inches closer to Him. It’s about Muslims being eager to learn more about their beliefs, because it conveys the message that the one seeking knowledge about Islam doesn’t do so in vain, or in a vacuum, but that God sees him and awaits him and comes to meet him.

It also applies to the conversion of non-Muslims to Islam; the same discussion above is true in this context as well, that of the non-Muslim reading a translation of the Quran or sitting through the khutbah (sermon at the midday prayer) on Friday at a masjid or just talking about Islam with an imam or a Muslim friend, whatever.

This brings me to something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while now: conversion and reversion.

A couple days ago, my Twitter friend @Muslimerican linked me to this article about Kimdonesia leaving Islam. For those who don’t know (I sure didn’t, until a couple days ago), Kim is an Australian girl who went to live with her dad in Indonesia and converted to Islam when she was 16. She practiced the religion and wore hijab and everything. At 18, she just converted out of Islam.

Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world, and has been for years and years and years. There is a lot that’s appealing about the religion. I remember, back when me and Andy were first becoming LawSkoolBFFs and he found out I was a Muslim, and I found out he’d actually read the Quran (or portions of it?) back in college, he said something that always kind of stuck with me. He said, about reading the Quran years ago, “I really remember being struck by how comforting it was.”

Anyway, despite all that nice stuff up there, what a lot of people don’t realize is that reversion rates are high, too. Pretty damn high. I have the good fortune of knowing several converts to Islam, and they are all lovely people, but they all tell the same story of finding Islam when they were young (late teens, early twenties), and being really intense about it. A lot are/were quite gung-ho, and I don’t mean that in a bad way at all. La kum deen akum wa lee adheen. (To each his own.)

All I mean is that when a person practices Islam that…strictly, chances are good that he/she is setting him/herself up for failure. Practicing Islam like that isn’t sustainable in a lot of cases. Sometimes it works out just fine. But sometimes it doesn’t, and for a new convert, it often adds to the stress and the culture shock once he/she has formally converted.

It’s hard to spend hours a day in deep prayer and still be able to lead a productive life in terms of work and other commitments and getting enough sleep. It’s hard to wear a tawb (the robes men wear, a lot like jilbabs that women wear) everywhere and tolerate strange looks day in and day out. It’s hard to cut off all contact with your family and old friends, which is what a lot of converts do in the beginning.

It’s hard. It gets to you after a while. People are only human. (Derrrr. But you know what I mean.)

Some convert back. Some stick with it. Some ease up from their rigid, Wahabi-esque practice of Islam. It all depends on the person.

In Kim’s case, her dog died. This sent her into a tailspin for a while, and she got to thinking about how in the Quran it says that non-believers will burn in Hell for eternity, and she worried about the non-Muslim members of her family burning in Hell.

In the post I linked you to above, she talks about how her fears and doubts get the best of her and she confesses it all to her mother, and she found that she just couldn’t go on believing in a God that was so wrathful and vengeful and strict and merciless.

And I was reading the post carefully and sympathetically up until that point. That was when my eyes kind of glazed over and I checked out. That sentence, about not being able to believe in the wrathful God portrayed in the Quran was all it took.

(I kept reading, and I was sympathetic to her situation, since, obviously, she’s going through a difficult time.)

But it’s like I said before: the person that says that the God in the Quran is angry and wrathful and does nothing but lay down punishments hasn’t finished reading the paragraph.

I remember remarking to @Muslimerican that I was glad I wasn’t reading whatever translation of the Quran she had, because my God sure wasn’t wrathful and only concerned with punishing people. I was being facetious about it, of course: all translations are basically the same. There’s no “Angry God” translation of the Quran that leaves out the lengthy and deep discussions of God’s mercy and compassion and forgiveness and His love for His followers.

(Heck, see the hadith I cited above.)

But what made the saddest about her post wasn’t that she was reverting, but that she would no doubt be absolutely flamed by her former-fellow-Muslims. She addresses some of the reactions in her post – how she must not have been a real Muslim because real Muslims don’t convert out, how she’s even worse than a non-Muslim because she had a chance to be a Muslim and then chose to opt out, blah blah blah.

I’ve heard that kind of ‘logic,’ and I use the term in the loosest sense, many times before. I’m ashamed of and for people who think that way and worse, actually voice those opinions. It’s ignorant and hateful. As @Muslimerican says, Hey, let’s just make sure she’s never a Muslim ever again! Let’s destroy all the goodwill she ever had or may have for Islam and Muslims! Yaaay!

Who was it – George Bernard Shaw, perhaps? – that said that Islam is the best religion, but its followers are the worst people.

I’m sad to say that my experience has pretty much been in line with that.

It’s not our place to judge anyone, a Muslim or not. Faith is such an intensely intimate concern, and it’s between a person and God. (In this case, I’m operating strictly within an Abrahamic context. Sorry not to be totally inclusive! Just bear with me.) But we’re always the first to condemn someone for not practicing his or her faith correctly.

I’ve seen and heard this over and over and over. If a girl is wearing hijab but her bangs are showing, she’s just totally shameless. A girl in a short-sleeved tee is a complete whore. Did you see that young woman in those five-inch heels? Whose attention is she trying to get? And, OMG, that one wearing all that eyeshadow – it’s absolutely disgusting!

That kid was spotted playing cards – Texas hold ’em, maybe, no blinds and no bets – so his faith must be totally weak. That other young man was spotted talking to that young woman he’s not related to – completely inappropriate! Oh, and that one over there – he’s wearing basketball shorts. BASKETBALL SHORTS. It’s scandalous, really!

(Yes. I’ve heard adults in my community complain about all these things. In some cases, many times over. Usually, upon hearing these complaints, I ask to kindly be shot in the face.)

We find all these nit-picky little things, SO MANY of them rooted in culture and not religion (I’m sorry to shatter a few carefully constructed worlds here, but there has never been any sort of Islamic fatwa on basketball shorts), and just peck and peck and peck at each other for them. It doesn’t matter if, as I’ve seen time and time again, that kid in the basketball shorts or that girl in the bold eyeshadow are actually the nicest, politest, most decent young people on the planet that pray and read Quran and are good to their parents. They must be totally shameless and awful, for those little things.

And, as I’ve seen over and over and over again, the people condemning them are usually some of the worst people I’ve ever met. And yes, I know that’s not a very tolerant thing to say. I’m sorry. (But that doesn’t mean it’s not true.)

There’s a saying in Urdu – Iman kharaab karde ta hai. Meaning, I guess, that it’s enough to ruin your own faith in your religion, when you see people who are also Muslims behaving so awfully, and you think, ugh, if that’s what it is to be a Muslim, no thanks, I’ll just sit over here in the corner.

It’s a terrible thing to say, but I’m just relating the saying. It fits.

So Kimdonesia has left Islam. I’m sure she didn’t take her matter of conversion to Islam lightly, and I’m sure she didn’t take her matter of reversion lightly. I don’t agree with her motivations or her reasons and if I ever met her I might talk to her about it if she allowed me to, but beyond that? It’s not my place to judge her. It’s not like I’m a perfect Muslim by any means.

We all do the best we can – Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, agnostics. We are all doing the best we can to adhere to some paradigm of moral conduct, organized by some higher power, or none at all. And I absolutely loathe the thought of this young girl being treated so cruelly for a decision she made that affects only her. Sure, she put her business out there on the Internet for us to discuss, but that doesn’t change this. We can discuss it all we want, but we have to draw the line at treating her so terribly because of it.

Okay, I’m off my soapbox with a new goal and plea for this weak: tolerance. I’ve been working on this for a while. I used to be quite judgmental, and have honestly been trying very hard in recent months to just back away from that destructive behavior. It serves no one, least of all me.

This doesn’t mean I’ll be tolerant of the flame comments I get here. I delete a handful of gross anti-Muslim/Islam comments on this blog every week. That won’t change. My blog, my rules. If you decide to be an ass, you don’t get to use my blog as a platform to spread your hatred and ignorance.

All this means is that I – and I hope, we – will take care to approach situations that we find troubling or disagreeable with just a little bit of understanding and compassion. It’ll go a long way, I’m sure of it. And we’ll be better for it.

A man sits in a masjid courtyard in Iran.

(Also, I would kill to have somewhere to sit with that awesome view.)

Now that I’ve bored everyone to tears, let’s move on to the outfit for this week. I wanted to do something with pants, and this is what I came up with. Remember, none of these outfits on this blog are meant to be particularly trendy or earth-shattering. Nothing high-fashion here, you guys. Just some cute, colorful outfits that are a step above your normal black/white/grey/navy work clothes.

Straight Leg Pants ………. $15
Countryside Crochet Tunic ………. $22.50
Long Multi Knit Cardigan ………. $24.80
Foldable Ballerina Flats ………. $34

First, I found this long cardigan at Forever21. It looks super warm and cozy, and since it’s got long sleeves and hits below the hip, you can wear just about anything underneath it. Personally, I hate wearing short sleeves (much less long sleeves) under a long sleeve sweater. The shirt always bunches up in the sleeve and it bugs me all day and I get really antsy. I’m already twitchy enough as it is, and this doesn’t help matters.

So when I wear my long sleeve sweaters, I usually wear a tank or cap-sleeved blouse underneath it. I avoid the bunching issue with my sleeves, and I don’t feel too warm like I often do with a long sleeve top under a long sleeve sweater. (Gross.) I liked this one from Charlotte Russe, and it worked with the cardigan, and I just ended up adding a pair of straight legged black pants.

Instead of going with black pumps I decided to add some more color by going with a pair of flats in a nice teal. I’ve always loved teal, and these flats are super cute.

And there we have a great workplace ensemble for our Modern Muslimahs!

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I got this request from my buddy Alexis. Now, I don’t watch Fringe, so I have never heard of Astrid, but I loved the screencaps she sent me and was only too happy to fill this request. If you’ve got a request, too, feel free to email me. And now, introducing Astrid:

I wish I had some crazy rant/schpiel for this character. Or, hell, even the actress. But I have nothing. So I shall tell you about something that happened in kindergarten.

There was this little dark haired boy in another kindergarten section that I saw in the hall and afterschool just about every day, and I decided he was the most beautiful boy on the planet and that I was in love with him. I had no idea what ‘love’ was, really, but all I knew was, this boy was freaking AWESOME.

So after school ended, they’d line us up outside so that we could all get onto our buses. The pretty little dark haired boy always stood in the first bus line and I was always toward the end of the line, so one day I just decided, to hell with it, I was going to go over there to where he was. So I left my bus line and joined his, and stood by him and talked to him and then got on his bus.

I had no idea that this bus was somehow the ‘wrong’ bus, and it wouldn’t take me home. All I knew was I was sitting with the pretty dark haired boy and everything was fabulous.

Eventually one of my teachers noticed me and dragged me off the bus and put me on my own. I was so mad.

😡

Stupid teachers. Being all nosy.

ANYWAY BACK TO ASTRID. Here’s the outfit Alexis liked.

And here is Astrid’s outfit for under $100.

Floral Print Chelsea Cardigan in Coral ………. $46.95
Broadway Bodyshaper Cami in Lilac ………. $14.95
Drew Plainweave High Rise Pants ………. $19.99
Pumps in Black ………. $17.50

Simple enough, yes?

I picked a floral printed cardigan with pretty, warm colors, and paired it with a lilac camisole that works with the purple in the sweater. The colors aren’t as warm as the ones in the screenshot, so I didn’t really feel like using brown pants and instead opted for these nice grey ones.

That left a wee tiny budget for shoes (um, do you know how hard it is to find heels for less than $18?!), so I went with these black ones, mainly for budget reasons. Go with brown, go with flats instead, whatever, but these worked with the outfit and my budget.

And there we have Astrid’s pretty printed sweater ensemble! 😀

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😐

You guys. We have a bit of an emergency. I need help. SHE CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS CAPTAIN.

I was sitting in my Counseling & Negotiations class, being all prim and proper and typing with my pinkies in the air like the lady that I am, when my professor, acknowledging that the room was quite warm and had been quite warm for all of our class sessions, said, “You may wear tank tops to class from now on if you want.”

😐

:-O

This was me when I heard him say that.


...WHAT.

YOU GUYS.

Tank tops.

To class.

At law school.

THIS CANNOT STAND.

😡

It’s total anarchy over here, you guys. Words cannot capture my outrage. So I shall let these images convey my displeasure instead.

BOY WATCHU TALKIN BOUT.

Ugh. FML.

Please...no. Don't do this.

Clearly, the Prof is doing this just to mock me. He is the worst man. :C This is the worst thing to happen to anyone ever.

HALP I NEED AN ADULT.

…Okay, so this one has nothing to do with anything. It’s just Leonardo DiCaprio ironing on a roof.

But it’s necessary.

😐

Just…just trust me on this.

(It’s not as good as Happy Leo With A Bucket, but still.)

 

…For the geniuses that’ll inevitably try to pee on this, yes, I realize the prof wasn’t serious. OKAY. THAT IS THE JOKE. YOU JUST RUINED EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE.

😡

This is why we can’t have nice things on this blog.

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The Ring of the Dove: A Treatise on the Art and Practice of Arab LoveThe Ring of the Dove: A Treatise on the Art and Practice of Arab Love by Ibn Hazm

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I read an excerpt of this in college for a class, and then got the book and read it in its entirety. It’s beautifully written, although the language after translation may seem stilted and awkward to some readers who aren’t as used to reading Arabic-to-English books as I am. This book – treatise, whatever you want to call it – has definitely informed my ideas about love and attraction. Ibn Hazm paints a gorgeous picture, for example, of how our souls all come from the same great whole, which is shattered into pieces. When we meet someone, and the pieces of his or her soul match up with ours, we fall in love. That’s why we can fall in love with many different people in a lifetime: our souls can match up in great proportion to more than one person. People with whom we don’t share a significant commonality of shattered soul matter, then, are mere acquaintances or distant friends, or nothing at all. That’s his idea, which I found quite charming.

The book is also pretty funny, even though it reads like a philosophy text. In one section, he talks about lovers finding that spark, but needing some help in getting together. He calls the agent that often helps couples get together the “Helpful Brother,” and then explains with amused self-awareness that the Helpful Brother is usually an old woman, because she has loved in her lifetime in many different ways and is particularly attuned to sensing love between younger people, and also because she doesn’t have much going on. It’s actually quite cute at times.

I’d recommend this if you were interested in an examination of concepts of love, sometimes contradictory, sometimes uncomfortably lofty, sometimes stunningly particular, in the Middle East in the 11th century, and if you don’t mind that it can be a little dense and plodding.

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I’m not sure where all of you are located, but chances are, you’re cold. Wherever you are, you’re cold. Even parts of the country that normally don’t get snow have been blanketed with a couple inches of the white fluff, and the gusts of wind and frigid temps that accompany Frosty the Snowman’s DNA are just miserable.

When I pull an outfit together for a blustery winter day, I’m thinking of two things: warmth and comfort. I walk a little more than a mile every day from the train station to my law school, and Chicago is just awful in the winter. Our wind chill often means we deal with temperatures that are effectively in the negatives, and it’s horrendous unless you’re all bundled up.

So for winter, I like layers, but if I can’t manage that, I like sweaters. I’ll usually pull on leggings under my jeans, a thermal tank under my sweater, or a tee under a hoodie (if I’m going super casual for class, which is rare), and then I knot my merino scarf around my neck, pull on this coat my uncle got me from his last expedition to Russia that I’m kind of worried might be real fur (there are no labels on it anywhere! Russia, am I right? With its aversion to labels), and then I grab my wrap-around earmuffs or my Fair Isles hat, and my mittens and I am good to go. Sure I look like a little waddling marshmallow, but I’m okay with that, because I’m warm.

I also think of comfort. Like I said, I walk a lot: sometimes through snow, mincing over ice, or over streets just covered in salt. I need flats or shearling boots that I can change out of once I get there into, you guessed it, comfortable but cute flats. There is absolutely no reason to risk breaking your neck by walking on slippery streets with heels. And besides, ladies, nothing says ‘high maintenance’ like wearing four inch heels when there are as many inches of snow on the ground. Skip it.

That’s why today’s outfit is one of my ideal, go-to outfits for a miserable winter’s day.

Short Sleeve Marled Sweater Dress ………. $17.24
Solid Black Tights ………. $10.50
Women’s Oxford Shoes in Black ………. $24.98
Dark Romance Bracelet ………. $25

Simple enough, right? I picked this cozy, fuzzy looking sweater dress from Macy’s. That’s what I love about Macy’s: they have fabulous sales pretty much all the time, and you can always find some great section in the normal clearance section of the site. This sweater dress looks like any number of the sweater dresses I already own (Chicago girl, remember?), so it was an easy pick.

I kind of wanted to go with brogues for this outfit, which are very similar to oxfords, and finally settled on this pair of black patent oxfords from Aldo. I know some people gripe about Aldo, but I go by my own experience, and I have several shoes from there, and they’ve stood up quite well and I have no complaints. I love patent leather shoes, as my long-time readers will recall from when I first started writing for the Working Wardrobe about a year ago (almost exactly!).

The dress is a little short, so you’ll need tights if you’re wearing it to the office. I threw in a silver bracelet that I thought was pretty and we’re done! There we have a pretty, warm, and comfortable outfit to get us through these chilly winter days.

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The Happy Prince and Other TalesThe Happy Prince and Other Tales by Oscar Wilde

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I’ve been an Oscar Wilde fan for years – since middle school, actually – and have read “The Picture of Dorian Gray” several times, and “The Importance of Being Ernest” so many times I practically have it memorized. I do so love Algernon and Cecily. They’re fabulous. But this collection of little stories is so unlike Wilde’s other works that I wouldn’t have believed he wrote this if his name hadn’t been displayed so prominently on the cover.

Oscar Wilde in New York

Image via Wikipedia

The stories are written in an almost liturgical style, like they’re old stories left out of the Bible. They’re beautiful, they’re dry, they’re preachy, they’re overly emotionally charged. They’re about charity and compassion and love and selflessness, and they’re just so heavy-handed about it. Plus, it’s weird to see Wilde write so grandly of such things when he spent all of “Dorian Gray” and “Ernest” making fun of everything.

“The Happy Prince” is actually quite beautiful, and reads to me like something out of Arabian Nights. I was surprised by the tone and content, because it’s so starkly fixed on compassion and charity, morals and values I don’t normally associate with Wilde, and the end is dramatic and Biblical, but not so much as to make me roll my eyes. It was acceptable.

“The Nightingale and the Rose” was terrible. And far too realistic. And also justified all the side-eyes I’ve always given to the idea of love.

“The Selfish Giant” just plain made me angry. These children are trespassing on the Giant’s land. He was absolutely right to put up the NO TRESPASSING sign and threaten legal action. It is HIS garden. He can do whatever he wants with it, even let it just sit there. Those little bastard children would have stayed off his land if they had any manners. GET OFF HIS LAWN YOU LITTLE TROLLS. I have to wonder, though, if my feelings here are strongly influenced by the fact that I am an American. Our legal system allows for adverse possession, where if you don’t use your land and someone else comes onto it and puts it to better use, the land is his or hers after a given number of years of uninterrupted, open, notorious, and hostile possession (there are more factors, but I wont’ worry about that until I’m doing my Bar prep course). In America, we have always prized putting land to use.

In England, historically, there was no such thing as adverse possession: even if land sat unoccupied and untended to for decades, that was just fine, because the owner had a right to do what he wanted with it, even if didn’t want to do anything with it. So I was thinking halfway through the story that maybe Wilde was criticizing that policy and advocating a more American treatment of land use.

But then it turned out to be a story about Christ, SO THAT SHUT ME UP.

“The Devoted Friend” just made me angry. It’s basically why I don’t associate with people. People are jackwagons. And I’ve seen the scenario in the story play out far too many times in my life (not involving me) to be anything but jaded about it.

“The Remarkable Rocket” was amazing. I hated the rocket so much, but this story is full of great little turns of phrase that are so typical of the Wilde I always thought I knew. It was a satisfying read if you are given to notions about karma and comeuppance, as I often am. Not always, but often enough.

Overall, I’d recommend this book if you’re interested in seeing a new side of Wilde that’s a bit removed from the perverse and dejected brilliance of “Dorian Gray” and not so sly and sprightly as “Ernest.”

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Jennifer Aniston: Her Allure Photo Shoot: Inside Allure: allure.com.

This made me cackle. Guffaw, really. I thought it was just hilarious. Jennifer Aniston recently did a Brigitte Bardot-inspired shoot with Allure, and they got her talking about her hair dresser, who’s apparently been with her for quite a while. She had some good things to say about him … and then some not-so-nice things.

“I love Chris, and he’s the bane of my existence at the same time because he started that damn Rachel, which was not my best look. How do I say this? I think it was the ugliest haircut I’ve ever seen. How did it have legs?!”

Come on. That’s HILARIOUS. Jennifer Aniston is basically famous only because of her role as Rachel Green on Friends. I never really watched Friends, but I did catch maybe two or three episodes live, and I catch an occasional (rare) rerun now and then when I’m stuck at home with nothing to do for a short amount of time and there is nothing else on. Basically, to kill time. I will never actually sit down and watch Friends. It’s just not my thing.

I did watch the last episode, though. Live. (Meaning, like, the series finale when it aired for the first time.) It was back in high school, and my friends were Friends fans, and they were having a Last Friends Episode party, and I loved my friends, so I was like, sure, I’d absolutely love to come.

And before I showed up, I remember Googling the show and making sure I knew who all the characters were and who they were paired up with and what their general story arc over the course of the series had been. I STUDIED FOR A PARTY YOU GUYS. I TOOK BEING ASIAN TO A WHOLE NEW TERRIFYING LEVEL.

😛

Never say I didn’t love my friends from high school. They were awesome girls, so it was easy to love them.

Awww, a young Hoomster. Back when I REALLY didn’t care what I looked like. Well, I still don’t now, but at least I know how to make my hair pretty. I didn’t even know that at that age.

😦

So tragic.

Anyway, I think Lauran gave me this pic in that cute frame for a present at some point during our junior or senior year. That’s me on the far left (the hemp necklace I’m wearing was made for me by Lauran, the lovely gal in the other yellow tee, who is now an editor at the Sun Times and besties with Roger Ebert, which I think is fabulous).

There were many more people but I think we just happened to be in Lauran’s kitchen at the same time. Behind me in the blue is Andrea, then Lauran, then Jackie, then Liz, then Christy, and then Shiva, whose last name was basically mine + “ianfar.” Awesomeness. Man, I really should get in touch with these lovely ladies, see how they’re doing and what they’re up to and if I can crash on their futons at some point.

Anyway, we had a Friends Party, and there was a cake with the Friends logo that we’re all standing around in the picture, but you can’t see it because the frame got in the way, and lots of food (we all brought stuff) and it was lovely. I had a great time and didn’t mistake Chandler for Joey, so it was a success. Hahahaha.

But yes, back to Jennifer Aniston. She hated the Rachel cut and thought it was the ugliest POS haircut EVER. And she can’t freaking believe that so many women out there got that cut to look like Rachel because OMG UGGOS.

Refresher: Here’s what “the Rachel” looked like.

Eh. I agree, it’s not so hot. But then again, I never thought it was hot and I never got that cut, even when I had short hair. (And I’ve loved layers since college, when I figured out how to actually style my hair.) And the little highlighted chunks are just – eh. Whatever. But she looked fine in it. I mean, she’s a pretty woman, and pretty women can usually make strange clothes or hairstyles work, so whatever. And it’s not a totally ugly cut, either. It isn’t the prettiest, but there’s much worse you could do to your hair than this.

I do think it’s hilarious that she’s choosing to rag on the haircut that basically made her famous and made her the queen of (now) middle-aged women across the United States.

I mean, why do it? Why insult those people, some of your biggest fans who are a big part of the reason that your crappy movies gross as much as they somehow do, by telling them that you thought their haircut was sooooooo ugly? Why burn up all that good will like that? For nothing?

I mean, yes, of course, Jennifer Aniston is entitled to have her opinion. And share it. Duh. But when you’re a celebrity, particularly a movie star relying in part on good will to boost lackluster box office sales, you need to watch what you say. You can’t insult people willy nilly. You can’t just be snide for no reason. You have to be sunny and happy and warm and cuddly all the time.

…Thank GOD I’m not a celebrity. I’d never make it.

There’s no good explanation for this. Except, of course, the one: Jennifer Aniston is not that good at interviews. And her handlers aren’t that great at helping her. They’ll comment on every single little rumor about her love life, but when advocacy groups got all upset about her using the word “retard” on Regis & Kelly (“I try on different outfits in front of the mirror all day! Like a retard!”), they didn’t make a peep.

So I can only conclude that she thought she was being funny, but it came across pretty mean in print, and she’s just not that good at gauging how things are going to play like that. And her handlers just aren’t able to keep up with all of it.

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