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Archive for June, 2010

I’m back today with another post inspired by the lovable girl next door…who happens to live next to a bunch of uber physics nerds, and eventually ends up dating one of them. Not the weird alpha-theoretical-nerd, but the little less weird beta-experimental-nerd.

Oh, whatever. You have to watch the show to know what I’m talking about. Otherwise, all you need to know is that Penny is a California girl with a fun, beachy style who wears lots of Uggs, flip flops, cut offs, shorts, miniskirts, and tank tops, and that Katy Perry’s song by the same name is absolutely awful.

Click HERE to get to the post on Heave Media, or click the picture below.

This isn’t the little less weird beta experimental nerd that Penny falls for. It’s Sheldon, the totally weird alpha theoretical nerd that barely tolerates her.

They’re MAGIC.

Not from a romantic standpoint. I don’t like them romantically. But I love their relationship. They’ve just managed to forge a very odd almost-friendship.

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Ah, Boy Meets World, part of ABC’s TGIF lineup. It was never a critics’ darling, nor did it pull in a huge number of viewers or a lot of shares in the household demos, but who doesn’t remember Boy Meets World? Cory, his BFF Shawn, his goofy older brother Eric who went on to be the voice of Batman Beyond, Mr. Feeny, and the girl-next-door, Topanga Lawrence.

Seriously, who names his or her kid Topanga?

You guys remember Topanga, or as I always think of her, To-po-gi-gio. (That was what this one chick that was into Cory called her. It was funny.)

In case you don’t, here she is.

Topanga always had an interesting fashion sense: Lots of full hemmed skirts, blazers, printed dresses past the calves, combat boots, white leggings, cowboy boots…

…It was interesting.

She loved mixing together prints and patterns and she only wore flats or boots. So if that’s similar to your style, or something you’d like to incorporate into your style, try this on for size.

And if you’re not crazy about the shoes, substitute with a pair of heels and you’ve got a look that is understatedly Topanga.

Solid Sheath Dress in Black ………. $21.99
Checks and Balances Blazer ………. $49.95
Buckle Flat ………. $15
Woven Wire Puffed Heart Pendant ………. $10.15

I picked a black sheath dress rather than one of her huge poofy skirts or her long but not quite maxi dresses, just because this piece is nicer, in my opinion, and it’s more versatile. You can wear it with plenty of other things and create completely different looks, and I figured you’d appreciate that.

Topanga often wore printed blazers. It gave her a very business woman look, which was weird because she was 14. Now, in the wardrobe department’s defense, that’s a difficult age when it comes to dressing a kid. After all, she wasn’t a child anymore; she had sweater puppies at that age.

But she was still supposed to be in that middle school/high school stage, so they didn’t want to sexualize her. (And now that I’m thinking back, they did a great job not overly sexualizing her, even in high school and college. Sure, her clothes were tight – and her sweater puppies were massive by that point – but she was always covered up and her tops weren’t ever scandalously low. Kids playing fifth graders have lower cut tops nowadays than she did back in the mid-nineties. You go, ABC.)

And they couldn’t really put her in licensed clothing, like Winnie the Pooh sweatshirts or whatever. Well, I guess they could have, since Disney is the parent company of ABC. Hm. But you know what I mean. They couldn’t dress her too old and they couldn’t dress her too young and that just leaves turtlenecks and frankly, I think all turtlenecks everywhere should be burned, so that’s that.

So they went with blazers and jean jackets and long dresses, and it kind of worked because in elementary Topanga was the weird kid with hair that went on for days and Cory always made fun of her for it, so now that she’s in high school or whatever, her personality isn’t really that weird anymore (she doesn’t talk about glowing auras or do interpretive dances in the cafeteria) but they can still channel that little bit of harmless, non-threatening eccentricity in her style.

So, okay. That explains the blazer from Anthropologie. Aren’t you impressed that I was able to blow half my budget on one item and still put a look together? I’m boss.

Anyway, instead of going with cowboy boots or combat boots like Topanga would have, I went with flats, just because…it’s less weird. And like I said, if it’s still too weird for you, and I don’t blame you, just put on a pair of pretty heels. Black. White. (I don’t like white shoes. Don’t wear white. Okay, fine, wear white. No, don’t! Okay…wear white, but lie to me about not wearing white.) Blue would actually be lovely, maybe a nice, vibrant teal. A bright, happy purple would be a great choice. Purple shoes are so underrated.

And I threw in a little necklace just because I had like $13 left over, and I just thought Topanga would have some sentimental little trinket necklace that she always wore, probably made from something Jedediah found during their very first (of many) family trips to the Badlands.

And there we have a little outfit inspired by Mrs. Cory Matthews. 🙂 Oh, my childhood. Okay, not really. Mama Hoomster never let me watch Boy Meets World when it was on ABC. She thought it was a naughty show and didn’t want any part of that. I watched it once the reruns hit the Disney channel.

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Haha! Look at this idiot!

I swear, you guys, you’d think that people would have some freaking common sense when it comes to dressing for the courtroom. It’s not even that hard: the only requirement is that you dress nice enough. No one’s asking you to throw on your Vera Wang gown or anything: just dress nice enough.

But apparently that was too much for this little genius to handle.

She showed up to court in jeans, a grey cardigan, and a black t-shirt reading “WHO THE F— IS KANYE WEST?”

First off, child please. I don’t care if it’s a sarcastic quip: You never ask who the f— Kanye West is. HE IS THE VOICE OF A GENERATION OR SO I AM TOLD BY KANYE WEST.

😡

Love Kanye. LOVE HIM.

Second, the bleeped out word on the shirt didn’t give you some clue that it might not be appropriate for a courtroom?

Third, everyone knows Kanye West is a gay fish.

This little kid snipped about the judge picking on her and then let loose a string of expletives outside the courtroom when she called her friend and told her what happened.

Things to take away from this story:

1. Kanye West is a gay fish.

2. Judges generally don’t play that. (Cited: ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct.)

3. Do not wear rude t-shirts to the courtroom when you are called to represent a reasonable cross section of the community as finders of fact.

Ugh. So complicated.

I know! Let’s play a game to make it all easier! I’ll put up a t-shirt design, and you guys figure out if you should wear it to court or not.

All right? Let’s go.

Answer: Appropriate. It is well known that all courtroom judges are Oldie McOldersons and will not be able to see that the shirt says “Warn A Brother” instead of “Warner Brothers.” They will simply presume that you are a big fan of the motion picture studio.

Answer: Inappropriate UNLESS you are in the jury for a case involving any kind of sexual assault. Again, it is a well known fact that everyone is always allowed to picture you naked until things get assaulty.

Answer: Appropriate but only because it is true.

Answer: This falls in a legal gray area. It is generally appropriate, but if anyone gives you guff, proudly assert that you support America’s small businesses, the backbone of the economy. That’ll shut ’em up.

Answer: This is inappropriate because it stirs up debate about our country’s immigration policy as well as the history of our relationship and treaties with Mexico, and everyone knows that a courtroom is the LAST place to engage in discussions like that. HOWEVER, this shirt IS appropriate if you are reporting for jury duty in Arizona or New Mexico. And if you’re reporting for duty in New Mexico, then it’s just plain funny.

Answer: This shirt will never not be appropriate. I’m talking jury duty, bat mitzvahs, funerals, graduations, and dog and pony shoes. Appropriate, appropriate, appropriate.

Answer: Appropriate if you are white, inappropriate if you are not.

Answer: Appropriate for its truthiness. In fact, a proposal to add this as an amendment to the Constitution is currently on the floor of the House of Representatives. No, it is not. But it should be.

Answer: Completely inappropriate in every courtroom, in every state, in every country, in every planet, in every galaxy. And if you have to ask why, you are a monster and should be punched in the larynx.

Answer: Always appropriate. I doubt any of you would even want to live in a world where it was not.

Answer: Appropriate if you’re over 21. Be warned that if you show up wearing this shirt, the judge may request the Bailiff to ask you for I.D. (Cited: Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.)

Answer: Appropriate. If a judge tries to smack down your style, plead the 1st, the 2nd, the 5th, and the 45th. Basically, just plead anything. Something’s gotta stick to the wall.

HOW TO SCORE YOUR ANSWER SHEET: If you got anywhere from 7 out of 12 to 11 out of 12 right, congratulations! You are fit for jury duty! If you got anywhere from 1 to 6 right, you are an idiot, but the court system is desperate for jurors, so you qualify anyway. If you got 12 out of 12 right, go home. We don’t take kindly to know-it-alls around here.

And if you got 0 right, congratulations, you’ve passed the jury round and have won a seat in the legislative body of the United States of America, in the house of your choosing.

Yay! I love games. 🙂


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I had been putting off doing a post about ModCloth for a while, mainly because they advertise on PerezHilton’s website (which I refuse to link to) and he is a piece of trash for so many reasons, and I refuse to support any of his advertisers. There are at least two or three little online boutiques that I liked quite a bit that I just stopped visiting once I found out that they advertised on his site.

But ModCloth has always been a favorite of mine for a long time, and I know a lot of you like it, and it’s just a great place to get cute, unique, vintage inspired items. I’ve always thought of it as a more cost-effective Anthropologie.

So it’s really too bad that they insist on advertising with a scumbag like Perez Hilton, because they’re a better retailer than that and should stick to other, better gossip blogs. They should stick with The Superficial or Oh No They Didn’t (do LJ blogs accept ads? I’m no longer familiar with their coding capabilities) or Jezebel. They already advertise with Celebitchy, and that’s another blog I despise, but whatever. I still read it. 😛 I’m complicated.

Anyway, here are five cute things for under $50 from ModCloth. Some aren’t exactly law-firm-appropriate, even on Casual Friday, but are all appropriate for the general office. As always, click to purchase.

$13.99

I LOVE this shirt. Love it. Love it, love it, love it. Look at it! How colorful and fun! If someone decided that I needed to have this, I wouldn’t argue with that at all. 😉

$29.99

A great cropped cardigan to throw on over a pretty tank or sleeveless top to make it work-appropriate, or to just ward off the chill from an over-active A/C unit. And I love that cheery little print, and the buttons on the cuff. So cute.

$34.99

Every time I say that I dislike floral because of Mama Hoomster, I always get comments or emails from people who are like FLORAL PRINT IS AWESOME YOU JUST HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO KNOW IT AND YOU SHOULD BECAUSE IT IS THE ANSWER TO ALL OF LIFE’S WOES AND IF YOU DON’T AGREE THEN YOU ARE A COMMIE BASTARD AND SHOULD GO DIE IN RUSSIA.

So, okay, for all you flower power hippie dippy folkies, here’s a cute floral shirt. (And again, for the millionth time, I generally dislike floral prints because my mom chose large, gaudy, just massively ugly floral prints and dressed me in them when I was in elementary school, and I have the annual yearbook pictures to prove it.)

But this shirt has a great shape to it, so it doesn’t just kind of hang on you like a shower curtain (yes, we have floral shower curtains that my mom picked out; how did you ever guess?) The print is small and pretty, and the colors work very well together.

Neutrals and white pants are really in right now, and this shirt would look great with a pair of white pants (or, if you’re not into that, pale chinos, like the great ones on sale right now at Ann Taylor or Ann Taylor LOFT) and cute brown pumps.

Plus, it has little pockets. That’s where you can keep your secrets.

$41.99

Pretty! I love the color and the little buttons. I’m not entirely crazy about the bow, but I know this is right up the alley for a lot of you, based on remarks I’ve gotten when I post similar sweaters from J.Crew or something.

$49.99

LOVE IT. Bright red color, cute half sleeves, and a kinda sorta boat neck. Obviously, it’s a little too sexy for a normal law firm, but it is just fine for other offices.

Ugh, so darn cute.

And there we have our 5 for under $50 from ModCloth!

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All right, you guys, one of my alert readers informed me of a huge problem concerning this weekly grab bag thing I do. This alert reader was my mother. She was soon joined by my brother, who lives to harass me.

Mama Hoomster feels that this “Grab Bag” title I use for these Sunday posts is misleading and offensive to the sensibilities. She says a grab bag consists of a big box of presents and everyone gets to pick one and go home with it and be happy, and that I can’t call this a grab bag because I’m not giving any of you nerds anything.

I argued that the point was that I put up a bunch of crap and you can look through it and go with what you like, but she wasn’t convinced. And she remained unconvinced by my argument that in a typical grab bag set up, each participant buys a gift under a set monetary limit, and then picks a gift of comparable value, so really, the participant might as well have bought him or herself a gift, but for the added element of surprise, which I provide by putting up a bunch of items you may not have seen before.

But she said no, and that I had to change it, to which I said that I wasn’t running a democracy here, and then she got mad and wandered off somewhere.

So now that we’ve got that cleared up, let’s move on to THE WEEKLY GRAB BAG I HOPE YOU HEARD THAT MAMA HOOMSTER WHEREVER YOU WANDERED OFF TO.

😡

Free People: $34.99/$47.99

Slouchy and comfortable with deep pockets, and it looks slubby. I forgot to read the description, though, so who knows? It could be made of unicorn hair for all I know.

Free People: $19.95

I’m normally not at all crazy about belts, but I like this one. I also like the dressmaker dummy that’s wearing it. 😐 And normally dressmaker dummies freak me out. I just keep imagining them coming alive and chasing me trying to get my head and arms because they are jealous of them. 😦 It’s really scary, you guys.

Kenneth Cole: $31.98

These are interesting, yes? I can’t totally decide how I feel about these, but I’m leaning toward liking them. They’re just kind of fun.

Banana Republic: $39.50

SPARKLY. SHINY. CHASE.

*chases*

Banana Republic: $49.50

This one’s available in a butternut color, a khaki color, and black. It’s clean and simple without overstated hardware, and think of all the crap you could stuff in there. You could even stuff a small child in there! 😀

😐

Please don’t try to stuff a small child in there. 😦

Banana Republic $49.99

You guys know my feelings about cardigans. They make sleeveless tops work-appropriate and are great for warding off the chill from an over active A/C unit.

Michael Kors $29.99

I have a couple tops like this: soft and comfy in pretty pale colors, and they’re just great in the summer.

Victoria's Secret: Skirt = $28.99, Blazer = $34.99

A whole skirt suit for $64! Hard to beat that.

J.Crew $49.99

This cardigan is kind of sailor-inspired, yes? I like the contrast tubing/piping/whatever/stuff.

Express: $19.99

Shrugs/boleros are just as good as cardigans. Not as warm (which matters if you’re always freezing like I am) but they work great with sleeveless tops you wouldn’t otherwise be able to wear to work.

Urban Outfitters $19.99

OMG THESE ARE SO CUTE.

Free People $9.95

I threw this one in for Mama Hoomster. She loooooves turquoise and would totally love this bracelet.

French Connection $17.49

These aren’t law-firm-appropriate, really, but that doesn’t mean they’re not appropriate for other offices! They’re kind of cute, aren’t they? There are different color combinations to choose from, too.

French Connection $13.99

Really digging this orange sunrise color right now. So bright and happy!

French Connection: $41.99

This dress looks long enough to be work appropriate – once you pair it with a little bolero or cardigan or jacket or something. I love FC dresses; I’ll just admit it right now.

Ralph Lauren $49.99

Skinny fit anything wouldn’t be appropriate for a law firm, but these shirts would be just fine in another kind of office. My parents love polos for some reason. When I was 13ish, Papa Hoomster was always trying to get me to wear polos. And I hated collars at that age – still kind of do, but I’m better about it now. He’d drag me to department stores and be like BUY THESE and I’d just kind of flop onto the floor and twitch until he acquiesced by dragging me back out to the car and going home.

Ralph Lauren $48.30

Snakeskin! Creepy and funky and interesting at the same time.

Ralph Lauren $37.12

Mama Hoomster always wants to see me wearing stripes more often. I have no idea what her deal is. She also thinks all of you should wear more stripes. And clean your rooms, damn it, you can’t even see the floor anymore. HOW CAN YOU LIVE LIKE THAT?

😡

DKNY $23.70

Full sleeved, sparklies, and a deep navy color. The picture of work appropriate. Make it interesting with some patterned turquoise flats, perhaps, and matching earrings.

Ralph Lauren $24.90

Simple and close to the lobe. Well, close enough to the lobe, yes?

And there we have our weekly grab bag. I still maintain that the grab bag title works, no matter what my mother says.

😡

She can name it something else on HER blog. How about that? Hmph.

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I told you guys a while back that I was going to be incorporating a more philanthropic perspective here at TRPLS, just because I feel like I have the room as far as the breadth of my topic range as well as the general size and reach of my readership. Before, we talked about TOMS and the makeup that helps fight ovarian cancer.

Today, I’m here to share some of my favorites from Maggie’s Functional Organics.

Now, personally, I’m not really into organic anything. I probably should be. But as of yet, I am not. We don’t really buy anything organic. I have a ton of friends who only buy organic, though, so I’m familiar with the wide range of products that can fall under this category.

Although, honestly, this reminds me of my Copyrights exam in which we had to discuss a clothing company that wanted to label itself as organic when it really wasn’t, so we had to discuss the misdescriptiveness of the label in addition to all the other infringement issues that were in the fact pattern. Bah. I’m pretty sure I did awesome on that exam, though, so I’m not worried.

Anyway, Maggie’s Organics offers 100% organic clothing that is polyvinyl chloride free (that’s the stuff that’s usually in PVC screen printing on shirts, and the production of PVC creates byproducts that have been linked to cancer, liver and kidney failure, as well as birth defects).

In addition to that, Maggie’s Organics is closely linked to a women’s sewing cooperative in Nicaragua in order to ensure that fair labor standards are met for the workers, and to create community sustainability in a highly impoverished region of the country. They’ve also set up a trust fund to support the development of businesses in that community and provide a stable living wage.

They’re a great example of socially conscious, sustainable apparel manufacturers, so here are some work appropriate items (under $50) from Maggie’s Organics.

$13

Pretty! I actually like this color a lot. I’m trying to bring more earthy tones into my wardrobe for the fall, and this one would fit the bill nicely.

$9

Rachel Berry-style knee high dress socks! Yay!

$17

This wrap top would be good to throw on if you’re stuck in an office with the A/C turned on a wee bit too high.

$22

Tights! Who doesn’t need tights? …Occasionally? After all, bare legs are a no-no.

And there we have some pieces from Maggie’s Organics that you can wear to work, knowing full well you’re helping co-ops in Nicaragua. Yay.

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Taking a break from the near-daily posting of outfits to bring your attention to Jessica Simpson and what she’s doing right here. Jessica is one of those tall, curvy girls that has no clue how to dress for her figure, which makes her look more substantial in terms of mass than she actually is. But in this ‘photoshoot,’ if you can call it that, for her new line of jeans, she actually does get it right.

I was alerted to this life-changing event by the blog Celebitchy, which I will not link to, because they suck. The clueless biddies over there wrote as the headline, “JESSICA SIMPSON WENT AWAY FOR A MONTH AND LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT.”

I’m not saying she’s fat. She’s not. And while she may have lost some weight, it certainly wasn’t a lot of weight. One of the first places you can ‘see’ weight loss is the face, and it’s obvious from her face that it wasn’t nearly as substantial a weight loss as those crazies at Celebitchy are claiming.

No. What’s really going on is that Jessica is wearing a flattering outfit.

[picapp align=”center” wrap=”false” link=”term=jessica+simpson&iid=9186371″ src=”http://view.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/9186371/jessica-simpson-jeanswear/jessica-simpson-jeanswear.jpg?size=500&imageId=9186371″ width=”432″ height=”594″ /]

I can easily point out a couple tips from my ‘5 ways to dress 10lbs. thinner’ series here.

So instead of posting an outfit today, I’m just going to talk about what Jessica is doing right that is causing those harridans at Celebitchy, none of whom could be accused of being too intelligent for their own good, to think she lost oh soooooo much weight.

First, look at her jeans.

They’re a medium wash, which isn’t the most flattering rinse, but at least they’re not medium all over, or a very stone washed color, or, God forbid, white. The thing is that they’re dark around the sides and the cuffs. They’ve got that troublesome lighter wash on the thighs, though, which can make you look bigger there, but it’s not that bad here.

Bottom line: her jeans could stand to be darker (and therefore more slimming) but all in all, a good wash between medium and dark.

Also look at the cut. They’re boot cut, which is the most flattering cut you can buy. What the boot cut style does is that it balances out the curve and size of your hips with the bottom part, making you look slimmer and better-proportioned.

Finally, look at the length. Those jeans are long. They’re nearly floor-skimming. She’s wearing heels with them, though, so take note of that. As a general rule, you don’t want pants that are long enough to actually touch the floor. This is a no-brainer. I really didn’t even need to type that. They get all frayed and disgusting and dirty and…no. If you’re wearing flats, and you want to go for long jeans, they should go just past your ankle. If you’re wearing heels, you have more leeway and they should brush like an inch above the ground to help you properly achieve that ‘long’ look.

The thing about wearing heels and long jeans is that your maxing out the look. The long jeans already lengthen the leg and make you look leaner, but then you add the height from the heels to it and it amps it up because you’re even farther from the ground. With heels, though, once you hit the 4″ mark, going any higher is just pointless. You’re adding heel height, yes, but you’re not adding any significant height to your actual frame, if that makes sense. At least, you won’t be perceived as any taller. So once you hit 4″, just stop. Hardly anyone looks graceful walking around in 6″ heels anyway.

And for work, you really don’t need to be wearing anything higher than 3″.

One last thing about jeans. You can’t see it here because she’s not wearing a style that showcases it, but stitches and seams go a long way in creating the perfect, most flattering silhouette you can achieve. If you’re buying a new pair, check out the seams along the outer sides. If they are closer to the front when you wear them, it actually creates a neat optical illusion in which it appears that your leg ends where the seam does, even though it’s plainly obvious that it doesn’t. But that’s a little too fake-sciencey-hokum, so whatever. Certainly don’t let the seams be the make it or break it aspect when you’re buying a new pair of jeans. That would just be silly.

ALSO.

If you have a larger butt, you’ll want smaller back pockets to minimize its appearance. (That is, if you want to minimize its appearance.) If you feel you have a nonexistent butt or one that lacks any kind of curve, go for larger pockets to emphasize the tush.

I don’t like discussing butts, you guys.

😡

Mama Hoomster doesn’t like me discussing butts.

😡

So let’s move on.

(Perverts. All of you.)

Look at Jessica’s t-shirt. For once, her top isn’t hitting at the widest part of her hip. When you do that, it makes you look like you’re wide all over. Her t-shirt sits a little higher.

But the real boon here is her blazer. Look at it. First, it’s black. Slimming. Obviously. But look at the way it’s designed. It pinches in at the waist and then falls out, away from the body, in a nice A-line, emphasizing a ‘narrow’ waist that may or may not be narrow in actuality and creating an hourglass shape that is far more flattering than the silhouette JSimp normally manages to create.

To help you out, I picked out five blazers that will help you achieve this look based on their construction.

As always, click to purchase.

Express - $49.99

I hate that ‘Express is verboten for female lawyers’ crap. It’s absolute crap. I understand the point – don’t dress in clothes that are too tight, but since WHEN is it a crime to dress in clothes that actually fit you?

This ‘go up one size because dowdy female lawyers are taken more seriously’ bullshit needs to stop.

I’m a big fan of wearing clothes that look nice and fit you, and speaking in a normal tone, in a confident manner, maintaining good posture and eye contact, and using body language to demand that you be taken seriously.

I highly doubt that if I portray myself with confidence in terms of body language and speech, some other lawyer at that firm will still think, ugh, her clothes just fit her too well, she’s another one of those fussy-pretty-girl types.

And if that’s the case? F–k that firm. I wouldn’t want to work there anyway. I’d rather be the Target Lady than have to work in a place like that. I’m totally serious.

Bloomingdales - $47.20

Is it just me or does this model look ridiculous in that miniskirt? Seriously?! Seriously.

Arden B - $59

Here’s a 3/4 sleeve one that really nips in at the waist. This blazer isn’t messing around.

Banana Republic - $99.99

A more normal, work appropriate blazer. I mean, it’s actually a suit jacket, so, obviously it’s going to be a normal blazer. Banana Republic has a GREAT selection of suiting separates, ladies.

Central Park West - &70.99

This one I just included to get away from the job interview type blazers. It’s by far the ‘trendiest’ of the bunch, if you want to call it that. I mean, for crying out loud, it has a zipper on the back. Child, please.

Anyway, good for Jessica Simpson for picking a cute blazer and tossing it on with a look that compliments her curvaceous figure. It’s a flattering look that tricks people into thinking she’s lost a ton of weight when she really just hasn’t (more than a couple of pounds, that is). Good for her for figuring out how to dress for her curves; let’s hope she keeps it up, because she looks cute.

Anyway, I just wanted to talk about that.

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