Archive for December, 2009

Ha! Stately! Did you see what I did there? Well, of course you did, because you’re not dumb. I just love horrible puns. The lamer, the better. The louder I groan, the more I love you for it. (That’s what she said.)

One of my favorite professors in college loved lame puns, too. He’d always, always use some super-lame puns in class. Once, he got done telling us a really abominable one, and I couldn’t help it: I said “LAME” rather loudly as soon as he told the punchline.

He looked over to where I was sitting, a lowly freshman, and just cracked up, and apparently that relationship was forged right there and endured during my entire undergraduate career. I took about five math classes with Dr. Rich Wilders just because I loved him so much, and every single time he used a lame pun during any of his lectures, I’d say “LAME” just like before and the other students, the ones who didn’t know me, would look at me like, it was nice knowing you, crazy.

And then sometimes I’d zone out during class, and if Dr. Wilders told one of his horrible jokes with the lame puns and the punchline was met with silence, he’d yell, HUMA PAY ATTENTION.


We had such a healthy thing going, me and my professor.

I’ve called lots of things lame over the years, but I won’t soon be calling Michelle Obama’s lovely gray dress that.

It’s great! It gives me kind of a Posh Beckham vibe with the lack of sleeves, the structured fit, and the pencil skirt.

There are two dresses I found that kind of fit the bill here in terms of replicating this lovely look.



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Overheard after much belly-aching from Mama Hoomster about my many inadequacies and whorish tendencies…

Hoomster: Ammi, I need to hire people to come in rotation and take you for little outings so you can drink your tea and frown at the young people.

Mama Hoomster: …I don’t need to go anywhere for that.


Well played, Mama Hoomster. Well played. You’ve won this round.


(Also, in honor of Mama Hoomster’s comment that I looked like a wraith from LOTR when I was wearing a hooded robe.)

(Yes, she knows what wraiths are.)

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In our most recent Podcast Ipsa Loquitur, Josh Camson and I discussed law school tuition hikes as well as the ABA’s loan relief proposal. In a much-appreciated attempt to help out struggling law students and lawyers, the ABA proposed using TARP funds to help unemployed lawyers by converting their private loans to federal ones.

Congress, Geithner, and President Obama are less than compelled to action by this proposal, but the ABA says it will continue to build up support for its proposal for student loan relief for recent grads. There have been meetings on Capitol Hill that have been unsuccessful so far, but the ABA will continue working to help those of its members that are struggling with loan repayment.

It’s very nice to see the Bar attempting to do its own a solid, and that’s all I’ll say about the Bar since I have not been admitted into its ranks yet. I hope they’re successful in helping recent grads with private loans; every little bit helps these days.

As for me, this makes no difference. I’m as screwed as everyone else. By the time I graduate, I’ll probably have something like $80-$90K worth of student loans. But they’re all federal loans – Staffords (subsidized and unsubsidized) and Graduate Plus.

Debt is horrible. Islam has very stern things to say about debt. Islam’s first order is, don’t fall into debt. Islam’s second order is that, okay, if you’re in debt, make that your top priority. Get that shit paid off.

Islam also has very strict inheritance rules (like, the sons inherit this much, the widow inherits a smaller portion, the daughters inherit a smaller portion – the rationale being that the sons have their families to support, and the sons will be supporting the mother, also, so the mother doesn’t need as much, and the daughters are presumably married and as such supported by their husbands so they don’t need much to survive since that’s the husbands’ job, and if they are unmarried, then their brothers will be supporting them anyway), and the one most emphasized is that when a person dies, regardless of to whom he leaves what, the very first thing satisfied is his debt. If he leaves 100% of everything to the wife, then the wife gets whatever is left after his debts are repaid. This is nothing new or surprising; these are very common-sensical rules.

Yes, I said common-sensical.

Yes, I hyphenated it.

So Islam has already, understandably, stigmatized debt. That’s fine. Debt is horrible.

But all of that notwithstanding, student loan debt is the best kind of debt to have. And as far as law students go, we’re all going to be in debt when we graduate, pretty much, because unlike doctors, we can’t head out to the Caribbean and find a cheap-o law school and then just come back to the states and take the Barzam.

Thankfully for us, recent legislation has worked out income-sensitive federal loan repayment, in which you have to pay 15% of your disposable income in loan repayment, which is a pill much easier swallowed. Essentially, the government has capped off the amount of your disposable income that you’re expected to put toward loan repayment.

So, yes, I’m freaking out about my loans as much as everyone. But at least I know that I’m not going to be stuck at a $30K a year job and have monstrous loan payments to make.

Also, I keep getting all these emails from Publisher’s Clearing House that Gmail doesn’t filter out, and you can bet your ass that I click on all of them.

[picapp align=”none” wrap=”false” link=”term=money&iid=7423091″ src=”7/8/9/2/Illustration_of_medical_755d.jpg?adImageId=8706863&imageId=7423091″ width=”380″ height=”443″ /]

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I generally act a bit like a boy, but occasionally I reveal my girly side when I see shiny things. You see, I like shiny things. I like to chase shiny things. It’s simply how I am. I feel comfortable admitting that to all of you because I feel like we’re friends now. Also, there are so many hideously creepy things about me that chasing down the shiny stuff is really the least of my problems, so whatever.

You’re not that great either, you know.

But you know what is great? Michelle Obama’s yellow dress.

If there was ever a doubt that this woman could pull off yellow, let it be put to rest. It’s definitely one of her colors, and works beautifully with her skin tone.

Now, I’ll be honest: I had no prayer of making this look fit our budget. So…sorry about that. Also, I had no prayer of knocking off this dress respectfully. Let’s just see what I came up with.

Anne Klein New York Dress in Citron ………. $83.99
Antique Flower Button Cardigan in Mango Salsa ………. $19.99
Studded Ballet Flats in Peacock ………. $20


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You nerds know that I don’t like yellow and black together. The color combination reminds me of bees, and I hate bees and wasps and hornets because growing up, my BFF was deathly allergic to bee stings. She once got stung and had to be rushed to the hospital and very nearly died. So I hate yellow and black worn together.

I also hate orange and brown worn together. When I was a kid, I just decided that the orange crayon and the brown crayon hated each other. I think major drama had gone down to cause that. Maybe the brown crayon slept with the orange crayon’s wife; I have no idea. They didn’t tell me.

So whenever I colored, I arranged my crayons on the floor according to the Roy G. Biv spectrum, but I kept orange and brown for last. Brown stayed in the box and orange stayed on the carpet so that they couldn’t fight while I was arranging the others. Then I’d put orange at the front end of the spectrum line and the brown at the back end.

They hated each other, you see.

So even though I don’t like Michelle wearing yellow and black together, I think we can agree that yellow is definitely one of her colors. She’s got the skin tone for it, and it just works. Observe:

Yes, she looks like a bee.

Yes, I’m mildly terrified.

And yes, I replicated the look.

Silk Chiffon Sophia Dress in Light Chartreuse ………. $39.99
Solid Cardigan ………. $21.99
Pyramid Stud Belt ………. $9.99
Erin Patent Pump ………. $19.80


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Overheard earlier…

Bro: Ammi said that since there’s no roti, to make me a sandwich. But then she was like, wait, Huma’s not going to make you a sandwich, is she? And I was like, no. So she was like, just wait until I get home, twenty minutes or so, and I was like, okay.

Hoomster: …I’d have made you a sandwich. I think. Maybe.

Bro: Well, you still can. The statute of limitations on sandwich making hasn’t run yet.


Bro: I am exceedingly well-read.

Hoomster: No, you’re not.

Bro: Fine. It’s the beard. It tells me things.


Guys, lawyer college totally corrupts those closest to us who are spared from its direct wrath. This is tragic.

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I’ve never been to church, because I’m a heathen. Well, that’s a lie: I’m not a heathen, just a Muslim, but there’s a crapload of people who don’t see the difference. Also, I’ve been in a church three times. Two times were for weddings, one was for Mass. I don’t really remember why I was at Mass. Maybe I got confused and wandered in because it was warm and there were bright lights and colors and music and lots of movement with that up-and-down stuff, and it really kept my attention, much like my argument for why I watch “Family Guy.” I don’t know. I really can’t be trusted not to wander into places.

It’s a problem sometimes.

Anyway, I’m reasonably sure that Michelle Obama meant to go to church, so kudos to her for not randomly walking into places and then getting weird looks and then not having the social grace to leave immediately, and then to leave only after making a geographically insensitive comment.

Like the time I walked into that Canadian-themed pub where most of the people had ties to New Brunswick and said I’d love to stay longer but my grandfather didn’t operate a light house.


There should be an executive order banning me from leaving my house.

Not even to go to lawyer college, Maxfield’s Diner, or to randomly wander into churches like the one Michelle goes to.

I don’t think this was one of my favorite FLOTUS 2009 looks for the actual outfit itself, but more for the picture. It’s such a cute picture. They’re just coming back from church, they’re wearing such bright colors and walking arm in arm, and Barack has no idea what’s going on. He’s just his usual emphatic self, and it’s cute.

So here’s what I came up with.

Silk Tricotine Dress in Tea Rose ………. $59.99
Charter Club Leopard Print Cardigan ………. $19.99
Sandie Ballet Flats ………. $19.99


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