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So a batch of photos (allegedly) of Blake Lively in various stages of undress have been making the rounds for the past two days. I don’t really have an opinion of that, but I’ve always kind of liked Blake, in the sense that she was pretty and harmless and just had kind of an all-American way about her. So I figured that in the wake of her newest (biggest? first?) scandal, I’d make her the muse for my daily business casual outfits here.

Today’s outfit is a little more casual than business, and is best for offices that allow jeans, or for offices that observe Casual Fridays. It’s inspired by this candid shot of Blake wandering around NYC with her then-boyfriend, Penn Badgely, (she’s rumored to currently be with Leonardo di Caprio) and her adorable little dog, Daisy, who supposedly has a serious incontinence problem, due more to a lack of training than physiology.

And here’s what I put together:

Boot Cut Jeans ………. $15
Vertical Ruffle Tank ………. $23.80
Hampshire Striped Cardigan ………. $24.99
Rampage Nikki Pump in Black ………. $24.95

I wanted to make this a little fancier than Blake’s casual shopping outfit, which looks a lot like what I’d wear when going shopping, except I’d add some color, either with colored shoes or a colored striped cardigan instead of just black and white.

To that end, I selected boot cut jeans in the usual dark wash. Dark washed jeans look the fanciest, not so slouchy, and they are slimming. Plus, the cut is just flattering on most body shapes.

I decided to forgo the casual black tank top and instead found a little ruffled tank from Lord & Taylor that was just a touch fancier. I paired it with a more fitted cardigan than the one Blake is wearing, and to lengthen the body added black leather pumps.

And there we have a business casual outfit inspired by Blake Lively that won’t cause any office scandals.

 

Yep. Today’s post is inspired by a character on a soap opera! 😀 I don’t watch All My Children, or any soap opera, really, but back when I was a kid, my mom used to watch All My Children, One Life To Live, and General Hospital. As a new immigrant, she wanted to become familiar with American culture.

😛

I’m sure that for, like, a week, she thought that all of you white people had secret evil twins, and the men you thought were your biological fathers probably weren’t, and every so often you’d all throw masquerade balls and some of your friends would die.

And then, a week later, she was probably like, “…the hell?”

But by that time she kind of found the crazy characters amusing, so she stuck with her soaps for like two more decades after that, easy. And because of that, I know the characters well enough. And today’s character is one that used to scare the crap out of me (as a four year old?) when she was played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, but who I actually liked when she was played by Alicia Minshew.

Click HERE to get over to my post at Heave (sorry I couldn’t post yesterday! I was hanging out all day with my BFF who just got home from Pakistan after spending a year there!), or click on the picture of Alicia Minshew.

Alicia is the one in pink. The other one is the girl who plays her character's half-sister, Bianca (Binks). Bianca is a lesbian, and her on-screen kiss with some other chick was the first lesbian kiss aired on daytime television.

Ugh. I hate myself for using the word ‘foxy’ in a post about Megan Fox. :/ It’s cheap and lazy and I’m better than that. But I didn’t want to use ‘sexy’ in a post title. And this IS a foxy look, dammit. :/

WHY IS LIFE HARD.

Anyway, you are all aware of my serious dislike of Megan Fox, not because she’s pretty and I’m jealous because her surgically enhanced beauty somehow negates or undermines my own (? – I’m still not sure what the argument is that people use when they say girls only hate her because they’re jealous), but because she’s a fucking idiot. She is just a complete, fucking idiot. Sure, like 10% of what she says is actually kind of funny and cute, but the rest is just abject, butt-paralyzing stupidity.

But Megan’s kept her mouth shut for quite some time, so I don’t currently dislike her as much as I did when she was doing promo work for the first and second Transformers movies, or for Jennifer’s Body. I’m totally fine with Megan Fox right now, because she’s kept the stupid shit that rattles around in her head to herself. Yay!

She’s gorgeous, though, and I remember seeing these pictures of her taping a Letterman show and thinking she looked quite nice.

A bit of a revealing dress, but not really. It’s teasing. And it really worked for her.

So I know I always do business casual outfits, but occasionally – rarely – I throw in a random look that is a little too ‘evening’ for a day at the office. This is one of those posts, because you obviously cannot wear Megan’s outfit to work.

Guys.

😐

Don’t argue with me about this. You can’t. You just can’t.

So let’s call this a date night outfit. Or an outfit to wear to the bar when you’re meeting some of your good friends from work for drinks. Basically, let’s tenuously relate this to work in some capacity so that I can throw up my version of Megan Fox’s little outfit.

HUMOR ME A LITTLE FOLKS.

😡

God.

Mini Dress with Geometric Mesh ………. $49
Princess Peep Toe Court Shoes in Black ………. $33.24
Pressed Detail Bangles ………. $5.80

Oh, God. This dress was made by Lindsay Lohan, you guys. :/ I have to come clean about that right from the start. Well, more likely, someone else sketched the dress while Lindsay was free-basing Red Bull and doing lines, but still. It bears her name.

:/

Whatever. It’s actually one of the best replications of this dress out there. I paired it with black peep toe pumps, and detailed bangles that are a little different than the plain ones Megan is wearing.

And there we have a cute little outfit that is TOTALLY inappropriate for work, so don’t you guys even try that. AckRite. 😡

So my friend Maryam got married this weekend (her younger sister, Sarah, also got married this weekend!). I was at their mehndi, and at Maryam’s wedding (couldn’t stay for Sarah’s), and it was just lovely. Both girls are lovely inside and out, and they looked fabulous, and it was just a really nice wedding. God bless their marriages and keep them happy, ameen.

(I have pictures of them, but I don’t think they’d want me to post them, much less on my blog, not even my protected FB account, so I won’t. But trust me, they looked GORGEOUS.)

At Maryam’s wedding, there weren’t many other people I knew, so I sat with my mom and her teacher friends from her old school, the one I refer to as the shithole Islamic school. You guys know what I’m talking about. I didn’t mind. I wasn’t an active participant in the conversation, but I didn’t mind sitting there and listening along and being slightly bored. No big deal.

When I was younger, my parents often took me to dinner parties where there weren’t any other kids for me to play with. I learned long ago how boredom wasn’t a bad thing, and how to enjoy my own company, which I do, very much, to this day. I learned how to keep myself amused for hours with one sheet of paper and a pen, if the hosts were nice enough to think of me and give me that, and how to sit quietly next to my parents (as a four year old!) for hours while they drank tea and talked. It wasn’t a big deal.

Which is why I hate the kids these days, constantly demanding to be entertained. 😡 Little turds.

So I’m sitting at this wedding with the aunties and Maryam is led in by her siblings and everyone looks awesome and she joins the groom on the stage and stands for some official wedding pictures and all that.

And I know Maryam. I know she can be a little shy, although if you know her, she’s hilarious and sarcastic and interesting and awesome. But if you don’t know her, you’d think she was just kind of quiet and shy and introverted.

And I know that she, like almost all brides, was probably more than a little nervous, more than a little stressed, more than a little tired. And she’s also a little shy, sometimes. When she was standing for the pics, she had her chin tipped down, her gaze lowered, which is very traditional.

Back in the day, brides often had veils over their faces for the entire wedding celebration. You guys saw pictures from my mom and dad’s wedding (if you haven’t, they’re all up and captioned at my TwitPic page), where my mom had a veil over her face for the nikkah (the actual signing of the papers, reading of the vows and the prayers, the actual marriage). Even in the normal wedding photos, she has her gaze lowered. I think there are just a couple pictures, if any, really, where she’s looking at the camera.

(These pictures are of my parents.)

Maryam wasn’t really talking to anyone when she was up on the stage, and her head was mostly lowered, although she did look up for some of the pictures and smile and all that. She wasn’t really talking to her friends or the groom, and this is pretty traditional.

Traditionally, the bride doesn’t smile, doesn’t talk to her friends, doesn’t talk to the grooms, doesn’t do anything but keep her head down.

And Jesus shit, you guys, the comments from the peanut gallery at my table.

One auntie that I’ve known forever was like, “Oh, this is how brides should be! Brides that keep their gaze down the whole time, they just look so much better, so much more pious! [She used the word ‘noor’ when describing how she looked, which literally means a light emanating from the face, but more generally refers to a light that seems to emanate from a person due to that person’s goodness and piety, etc.]”

She continued, “This is how brides should absolutely be. They shouldn’t be talking to anyone, they shouldn’t be smiling. I hate it when I go to weddings and the brides are looking up, looking around, smiling at their friends, smiling for the photos, talking to the groom. Gah, you have the REST OF YOUR LIFE to talk and smile! For God’s sake, at least sit still for this, your wedding day!”

Seriously. That is EXACTLY what was said.

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS.

I almost vomited. I almost vomited right there. It took everything in me not to tell this auntie to shove it, and that she was full of shit.

It was the most disgusting, misogynistic thing I’d heard all week, easily. Possibly all month. So fucking disgusting.

Brides should stay quiet? Look down? Not smile? I should mention, NO such conduct is expected from grooms. If a groom laughs with his friends and smiles for the photos, everyone’s like, aww, look, he’s so happy, what a great guy, what a great marriage. If a girl does it, she’s too free, too loose, too uppity.

Insisting that a bride look down and keep her mouth shut and not even dare to fucking smile on her WEDDING DAY is nothing but a blatant, gross desire to silence a woman.

Think about it this way: She is not even entitled to her own emotions.

These same ridiculous aunties are going to sit around at my wedding, eating the food I paid for them to have for dinner that night, sitting at tables I paid for, and paid to decorate, and they’re going to talk about how I look ‘too free, too loose” (translation, since it’s a little idiomatic: whorish) because I’m daring to smile for the camera and talk to my friends. And if I dare to smile and grin at my husband?

Dear LORD, that is the worst goddamn thing I can ever do. It means I’m a whore. Seriously. Grinning at my husband, forget even holding his hand (OMG WTF SKANK), on my wedding day is enough for some people to think I’m acting whorishly and totally inappropriately.

They’re in for a terrible surprise.

Because I can guarantee, (and this is not out of spite in reaction to this incident but how I’ve always felt) if I ever get married, the day I do, my shoulders will be down and back, my head will be held high, I will be smiling, and my eyes will meet the camera each time.

I will talk and joke with my friends. I will tease my groom. I will thank my guests for coming. I will grin at the camera in picture after picture with friends and family and acquaintances that somehow managed to come along.

To any young women reading this, the imminent-brides, if you want to go the more traditional route and keep your head down and not look at the camera, that is FINE. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If that is what you want to do, that’s awesome and totally cool and I will probably be sitting there, looking at your pics, thinking you make a gorgeous, traditional bride.

But that is not to say that’s how all brides SHOULD be.

To the other imminent-brides that are not comfortable with that, don’t stand for it. Look at the camera. Smile. Talk to your friends. Flash your husband a big ol’ smile.

You have the rest of your life to smile and talk and touch your husband, true. So why not start doing all that on the day you actually get married?

I’d like to end by once again congratulating Maryam and Sarah. You are both lovely and your wedding was awesome. Also, please don’t interpret this as even slightly critical of you. It’s critical of how people judge brides, and how people have horrible, offensive expectations of women, and are so quick to brand them as being too loose, for something as simple as a smile. Every bride should be able to behave the way she wants on her wedding day without being subject to this kind of disgusting criticism rooted in our patriarchy-obsessed culture.

You guys. I have no excuse for this. I was at Forever21 to stock up on basics (I bought like 5 t-shirts for $3.50 each – SCORE!) and to maybe find a brown belt (but all the S/P belts were way too big for me – even if I tried them on over a sweater AND my coat, the last hole was still too loose, which I admit was nice in one way because I like my tiny waist, but at that time was just nothing but frustrating) but everything was frustrating and I got upset. Which is what also happens to me when I shop.

Anyway, so I was going to leave but I saw a bin of nail polishes for like $2.80. One was a bright, happy, canary yellow. Why not, right?

So I grabbed it and bought it along with my tees, and I just tried it on.

OH MY GOD IT IS TURRIBLE.

I consider myself your run of the mill nail polish consumer. I don’t own shoeboxes upon shoeboxes of it like some of my makeup savvy friends. But I own more than 1 or 2 shades.

I buy high end and low-end, and generally go for colors and formulas that work well. I don’t care about gimmicks like high shine or quick dry – if I really want a high shine I will use a top coat, and if I’m painting my nails it’s safe to say I’ve made an experience of it and am doing it at a time when I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything else.

I love OPIs, and while I keep up with their collections, I never run out and snag bottles from the new one as soon as it comes out. I don’t find nail polish THAT exciting. I also buy drugstore brands, my favorite being Sally Hanson. It’s cheap enough, and there are TONS of different shades, and it’s always worked great.

Formula wise, I like thicker nail polishes. If I’m using a colored polish, as opposed to a more nude/sheer one that’s supposed to just enhance the color of my nails rather than change their color completely and noticeably, then I want a formula that is thick. I want two coats to completely cover any distinction between the white and pink parts of my nails.

(I’m not good with technical terms when it comes to fingernails – sorry. I know a lot of you won’t be able to take me seriously ever again after this, and I don’t blame you.)

😐

Anyway, I want a thick formula that does what it’s supposed to do in two coats. Two coats are perfect. Sometimes I’ll use three. I KNOW THIS IS ALL WILDLY FASCINATING AND LIFE CHANGING.

😐

You guys. Everything I do is life-changing. Please.

But Forever21’s nail polish formula (and I’m presuming it’s the same across the board – I highly doubt that fire engine red is somehow thicker than canary yellow, while jade green is even more watery) does not pass muster. It was way, way too watery.

One coat barely did anything. I had to apply about 4 coats (maybe 5? I lost count) for the two colors of my fingernails not to be distinguishable underneath. And, of course, when you put on that many coats, it sits way too thick on the nail, but any less and it would look like you barely had the presence of mind to put on a single coat, even though you actually already put on 3 at that point.

And, when it sits too thick on the nail, no matter how long you let it dry without doing anything that even remotely dings your nails, the slightest touch will put a dent in the polish. That’s just what happens. It’s SCIENCE.

😛

But yeah, I’ll try to be serious. Don’t waste your money on this polish. Find a better, thicker formula. I wonder if Sally Hansen has a canary yellow shade. I really want that color – it’s the it color this season, although that’s not why I want to try it. It’s just that yellow has always looked fabulous with my skintone.

Another color that looks fabulous with my skin? Bright pink, oddly enough. I streaked my damn-near-black-but-actually-darkest-brown hair pink around Halloween for my Nicki Minaj costume and I looked AWESOME.

I was very vigilant about there being no photos to document my first foray into another hair color, so, sorry.

You will never know how good pink hair looks on me.

😐

Doomed to ignorance. Oh, Bartleby! Oh, humanity!

😐

All my jokes are so lame and nerdy. I don’t know why you guys put up with me.

Just a quick little post for today to let you nerds know that my post at the Working Wardrobe is up, so click here or on the picture below to get there.

I’m currently in the process of backing up my blog, and in addition to the normal backup files (xml? I think that’s the extension) I wanted HTML backups of every post. Just to be on the safe side. Because I am way paranoid and have almost lost this blog before TWICE and just want to be sure that I have everything stored away in my Evernote. If you don’t have Evernote, I highly recommend it. Even Andy has Evernote (and on his phone, too, no less) and Andy hates everything. THAT is how good Evernote is.

And rest assured, he uses it for things that are JUST as nerdy as the things I use it for. Because Andy is a closet-case, you guys. A closet-nerd, to be more specific. He claims to hate nerds. He claims to beat them up (or in my case, squish them, usually in the elevators when he will stand RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and inch back so that I am effectively a Huma Pancake, because he KNOWS that one of my biggest fears is being squished by a large person in an elevator, the rat bastard) and he claims to throw rocks at them, but for all that, Andy is very much a closet nerd.

I can’t wait until he watches Doctor Who with me. ❤

Anyway, yeah, so I’m saving everything, and in the process, I have to rename the post titles, because for a bunch of BCS posts, I never put the number, so the numbering is all out of whack (I think we’re actually closer to 380 or 385, not 360 – I KNOW SO UPSETTING) and that bugs me because I have mild OCD when it comes to numbers and proportions.

Like, it *bothers* me when we have a pizza or a cheesecake or a pie or a normal cake and people are just cutting pieces willy nilly. NO. You divide it into perfect eighths. EVERY EIGHTH HAS TO BE PERFECT AND EQUAL AND UNIFORM. Why is this so hard for people to understand? I have a minor freak-out if every eighth is not uniform. Ask Amanda. She’s seen this up close and personal when I flipped out because my mom said she wanted “just the tiniest piece” of cheesecake.

NO EVERYONE GETS AN EIGHTH OTHERWISE WHAT SEPARATES US FROM THE ANIMALS WE MIGHT AS WELL BE SAVAGES LIVING IN CAVES AND DRAWING ON THE WALLS WITH EXCREMENT IF WE CANNOT EVEN MANAGE SO SIMPLE A TASK OF CUTTING AND EATING A PERFECT EIGHTH.

😡

I feel very strongly about numbers, you guys.

Well, the craziness of graduation is finally over, so I can once again start with my daily (weekday) posts here at TRPLS. I should probably change the name soon, as I am no longer a law student, nor am I particularly prudent any longer. Ah, well.

Today’s post is inspired by one of the ultimate chick flicks, the Notebook, starring Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling. Click here to get over to Heave to check it out, or on the picture of Allie and Noah making out like bunnies that just got out of prison.

Correction: The Notebook takes place in the 40s. Not the 60s, like I said in my Heave post. Thanks, JudgyAmie!